So sick of goat-meat...but good news too:)

I’ve lost about 15 pounds. Yup. 15 fucking pounds. I read that guys typically lose between 10-20 pounds upon their arrival in-country, but I had no idea the extent to which the veracity of that claim would actually affect me! I don’t look “sickly” or bad, I’ve been able to keep a regular work-out schedule and still eat until I’m stuffed when it’s food I can actually fathom eating. But I think that the cause of my incredible weight loss is due to three equally contributing factors: 1, I’ve had the most amazing (there really is no other word for it) diarrhea for a combined total of about fourteen days since getting here. 2, the only food I’ve consumed has been completely natural with no grease, butter or saturated fat of any kind…it’d be great if it wasn’t so laden with goat meat (more on that later). 3, I’ve finally managed to stand up for myself and clearly define what I will and will not consume as “food”.

About ¼ of every meal that I have the option (now) of eating is completely ridiculous so I only eat when it appears to be digestible by a western stomach. The reason for this sudden change of situational dietary freedom is due to my no longer being viewed as the ‘guest’. I am now really ‘part of the family’. Although my language is equivalent to that of a semi-retarded two year-old from Alabama, I’ve been present long enough for them to get a full grasp of my incredible gift for gesticulation. Through my many mimes I’ve been able to convey just about everything…well, my thorough understanding of present-simple tense Kyrgyz helps a bit too.

Goat meat. The bane of my existence. I could stand it at first because I was really trying to ‘culturally integrate’ but now that shit is out the proverbial window--I’m here, I speak (sort of), I can get around and I’ve got a cell phone…hell, I’m half-way to being native, but I get it. It’s cheaper than beef and the fish here is un-reliable. Oh, by “un-reliable” I mean it either tastes great and you die, or it tastes like pure salt and you live but you have a terrible stomach ache for three days. No fish. But what about chicken? What ever happened to the wonderful bird that cannot fly? I never thought I’d say this, and those that know my Seattle diet best know how crazy it is that I’m now begging for this bird-of-the-ground…but I would honestly do ANYTHING for a simple chicken dinner!!! Funny thing is that it costs about the same as shit-tastic goat meat but no one here eats it! Why? Well o loyal reader I shall tell thee. The truth about a true agriculturally based economy is that everything is truly utilized to it’s full and true potential. That’s the truth. Beef is incredibly expensive because cows are more useful as garden-weeders and dairy-producers than they are as a delicious cut of perfectly brazened rib-eye grilled just shy of medium rare with a cilantro/butter sauce gingerly poured on top whilst seeping through it’s delicate yet juicy interior. Okay…I might just have to quit this crazy thing and come home directly. Damn. Why would I do that to myself? Sorry, okay, now I’m back on track—anyway, the same thing goes for chicken. Chickens are more valuable as egg-producers than they are as (*edited for delicious content) meat. Therefore no one kills a cow and no one chokes a chicken…well, if they do they certainly don’t talk about it! So there you are o loyal reader thee…the truth of my truly despicable predicament!

I had a dream the other night about Red Robin. Of all the things I could be dreaming about (I did just start up a dating game with a certain female PCT) I woke up with my mouth watering at the thought of a big juicy blu-ribbon burger with fries and a side of honey-mustard dipping sauce accompanied by a fruity rum-based smoothie drink. Gay? No, just desperate for something other than dry goat meat and vodka. Okay…I can’t go further with this topic—I’m actually starting to fantasize about pizza and hotdogs from the Capitol Hill street vendors after the bars close…DAMN, STOP IT JAMES! Moving on…

Newest big news: I get to visit my permanent site on Saturday! On Friday all of the K-16’s are staying the night at the Issyk-Kul Hotel (the same one that we partied at…I mean, had our ‘orientation’ at for three days upon our arrival in Bishkek) before leaving with our future host-families on Saturday. I can’t wait! Some of the current PCV’s in Talas have been texting us future Talas Oblast PCV’s about what they have in store for our 4 day stay and it sounds like it’s going to be a blast! Then again, when did swimming clothes and vodka not sound like fun? Yeah, you all be jealous about that and I’ll be jealous about your food…DAMN! Okay, anyway the Issyk-Kul Hotel is really cool, it has an entire back garden area that was built as a millennium celebration in 1995 (It’s Kyrgyzstan…’nuff said) but the sculptures are all “futuristic” and “Soviet” in style…which makes it really creepy and cool! Also as soon as you enter the main grounds of the hotel (think ‘resort’ without resort amenities…then take it a step to the soviet angle and you’ll get an idea of what this entire place is like) there is a tiki bar set up run by children. Well, I’m sure it’s their parents that own it but they’re the one’s serving the booze—it’s actually quite cute once you get over the whole “corruption” thing, and the grounds of this bar have cushions and tables everywhere. It is really quite cool! So I think that between the creepy architecture garden and children-run tiki bar this Friday should be a blast! Also, private time with my new special lady friend is always a welcome commodity under the watchful eye of the US Government:)

So there you have it. The long and short of my current lack-of-consumables-yet-adjusting-to-it dietary and cultural journey. More to come post-permanent site visit with stories of swimming things and vodka galore, I’m sure. Stay tuned o loyal reader—your sympathy and comments go a very long way. Seriously. Keep ‘em coming! I love the contact with normalcy! Until next time…