So sick of goat-meat...but good news too:)

I’ve lost about 15 pounds. Yup. 15 fucking pounds. I read that guys typically lose between 10-20 pounds upon their arrival in-country, but I had no idea the extent to which the veracity of that claim would actually affect me! I don’t look “sickly” or bad, I’ve been able to keep a regular work-out schedule and still eat until I’m stuffed when it’s food I can actually fathom eating. But I think that the cause of my incredible weight loss is due to three equally contributing factors: 1, I’ve had the most amazing (there really is no other word for it) diarrhea for a combined total of about fourteen days since getting here. 2, the only food I’ve consumed has been completely natural with no grease, butter or saturated fat of any kind…it’d be great if it wasn’t so laden with goat meat (more on that later). 3, I’ve finally managed to stand up for myself and clearly define what I will and will not consume as “food”.

About ¼ of every meal that I have the option (now) of eating is completely ridiculous so I only eat when it appears to be digestible by a western stomach. The reason for this sudden change of situational dietary freedom is due to my no longer being viewed as the ‘guest’. I am now really ‘part of the family’. Although my language is equivalent to that of a semi-retarded two year-old from Alabama, I’ve been present long enough for them to get a full grasp of my incredible gift for gesticulation. Through my many mimes I’ve been able to convey just about everything…well, my thorough understanding of present-simple tense Kyrgyz helps a bit too.

Goat meat. The bane of my existence. I could stand it at first because I was really trying to ‘culturally integrate’ but now that shit is out the proverbial window--I’m here, I speak (sort of), I can get around and I’ve got a cell phone…hell, I’m half-way to being native, but I get it. It’s cheaper than beef and the fish here is un-reliable. Oh, by “un-reliable” I mean it either tastes great and you die, or it tastes like pure salt and you live but you have a terrible stomach ache for three days. No fish. But what about chicken? What ever happened to the wonderful bird that cannot fly? I never thought I’d say this, and those that know my Seattle diet best know how crazy it is that I’m now begging for this bird-of-the-ground…but I would honestly do ANYTHING for a simple chicken dinner!!! Funny thing is that it costs about the same as shit-tastic goat meat but no one here eats it! Why? Well o loyal reader I shall tell thee. The truth about a true agriculturally based economy is that everything is truly utilized to it’s full and true potential. That’s the truth. Beef is incredibly expensive because cows are more useful as garden-weeders and dairy-producers than they are as a delicious cut of perfectly brazened rib-eye grilled just shy of medium rare with a cilantro/butter sauce gingerly poured on top whilst seeping through it’s delicate yet juicy interior. Okay…I might just have to quit this crazy thing and come home directly. Damn. Why would I do that to myself? Sorry, okay, now I’m back on track—anyway, the same thing goes for chicken. Chickens are more valuable as egg-producers than they are as (*edited for delicious content) meat. Therefore no one kills a cow and no one chokes a chicken…well, if they do they certainly don’t talk about it! So there you are o loyal reader thee…the truth of my truly despicable predicament!

I had a dream the other night about Red Robin. Of all the things I could be dreaming about (I did just start up a dating game with a certain female PCT) I woke up with my mouth watering at the thought of a big juicy blu-ribbon burger with fries and a side of honey-mustard dipping sauce accompanied by a fruity rum-based smoothie drink. Gay? No, just desperate for something other than dry goat meat and vodka. Okay…I can’t go further with this topic—I’m actually starting to fantasize about pizza and hotdogs from the Capitol Hill street vendors after the bars close…DAMN, STOP IT JAMES! Moving on…

Newest big news: I get to visit my permanent site on Saturday! On Friday all of the K-16’s are staying the night at the Issyk-Kul Hotel (the same one that we partied at…I mean, had our ‘orientation’ at for three days upon our arrival in Bishkek) before leaving with our future host-families on Saturday. I can’t wait! Some of the current PCV’s in Talas have been texting us future Talas Oblast PCV’s about what they have in store for our 4 day stay and it sounds like it’s going to be a blast! Then again, when did swimming clothes and vodka not sound like fun? Yeah, you all be jealous about that and I’ll be jealous about your food…DAMN! Okay, anyway the Issyk-Kul Hotel is really cool, it has an entire back garden area that was built as a millennium celebration in 1995 (It’s Kyrgyzstan…’nuff said) but the sculptures are all “futuristic” and “Soviet” in style…which makes it really creepy and cool! Also as soon as you enter the main grounds of the hotel (think ‘resort’ without resort amenities…then take it a step to the soviet angle and you’ll get an idea of what this entire place is like) there is a tiki bar set up run by children. Well, I’m sure it’s their parents that own it but they’re the one’s serving the booze—it’s actually quite cute once you get over the whole “corruption” thing, and the grounds of this bar have cushions and tables everywhere. It is really quite cool! So I think that between the creepy architecture garden and children-run tiki bar this Friday should be a blast! Also, private time with my new special lady friend is always a welcome commodity under the watchful eye of the US Government:)

So there you have it. The long and short of my current lack-of-consumables-yet-adjusting-to-it dietary and cultural journey. More to come post-permanent site visit with stories of swimming things and vodka galore, I’m sure. Stay tuned o loyal reader—your sympathy and comments go a very long way. Seriously. Keep ‘em coming! I love the contact with normalcy! Until next time…

My permanent site placement!

I just found out my permanent site today!!! I’m in a large town called “Kizul-Adyr” which translates to “red-something…” No, something isn’t the last word, but I can’t find “Adyr” in my dictionary so as far as I know I’m going to be living in “red-something” for the next two years in the Talas Oblast (“Oblast” is basically what they call each respective “state” here, so Talas is the name of the “state” I’m in and Kizul-Adyr is name of the city). Anyway, I’m stoked! Not only is it in the Northern part of the country, but because for all of my IST’s (In-Service-Training’s) that take place in the capitol city of Bishkek various times throughout the year I have to travel through Kazakhstan on the main highway, I’m given a “travel” Visa for Kazakhstan that doesn’t expire until I leave the country. That means that on school vacations and summer break I can travel throughout Kazakhstan and visit other PCV’s there! This is a privilege only extended to Talas volunteers, and only out of necessity, which makes my site placement all the more UNBELIVEABLY AWESOME!!!

Also, not to brag, but taken verbatim from my site description in the packet I received today Kizul-Adyr’s details boast that “near the large Kizul-Adyr water reservoir…people swim and hang out. You can also rent Jet-Skis and Catamarans by the day, there is also the most exciting water slide in The Kyrgyz Republic”. More and more it’s looking like The Kyrgyz Republic is where I was meant to be placed. As excited as I was for SE Asia when I was initially nominated I just can’t imagine being anywhere but here, right now, with these people. I’ve also started dating a girl in my training class; she and I have both been placed in sites that, although far from one another, are each only 5 hours from Bishkek respectively…which means many weekend trips to the big city are already in the works!

Life here is going great! I’ve met some amazing people (as well as one particularly attractive one:)) and I just found out that I’m going to be spending my next two years of service in paradise! From what I’ve read Talas is beautiful, mountainous, and possesses a comparatively more liberal Kyrgyz culture from what one might experience in the southern regions. Today I also found out that my really good friend Kristen, whom I’ve had the pleasure of being neighbors with throughout PST, has also been placed in Talas! We’re about 30 minutes away from each other, so these next two years are going to be an absolute blast!

Sometimes I still wake up and look at the beautiful hand-woven carpet hanging on the wall next to my bed, I hear the train rattle by in the distance while my cow moos at the rooster to stop crowing and it feels so unreal…almost like a dream, but I’m living it. I guess it still hasn’t fully sunk in yet that this is where I’m living now, this is what I’m doing now, and for the next two years as I slowly perfect my Kyrgyz and more fully integrate myself into my respective community—this is my life. It’s just a bit crazy. You know, but in a really ridiculously good way:)

More tips on sending packages (if you are so inclined)

Just a quick add-on to package sending (of course, only for interested parties):

My friend Adam sent me a package with two magazines, a package of playing cards including UNO and a T-shirt. The T-shirt was stolen out of the box. He did everything right, he put the crescent moon and star all over the package and taped it up really good, but a desperate worker at the Kyrgyz post office still ripped it open and took what was probably a cheap and funny T-shirt that I really would have liked to have received. From this first (of hopefully not many) stolen items I have learned the following about sending packages from the US to Kyrgyzstan:

1) Tape the box with dark colored tape, preferably duct tape as it is easier to see any possible tampering thereby acting as a built-in deterrent.
2) Put the crescent moon and star over the space that the box’s flaps come together so that whomever decides to try to steal any contents has to actually cut through it. Adam did that on the top of the box, but on the bottom he put it on one of the flaps individually, letting whichever thief that stole my shirt have less on his conscience…which very well could have made my box an easy target. In general, I think it’s a good rule to make desperate thieves have to work a little harder than that and deal with the spiritual consequences laterJ
3) Pack all of the items in the box under copious amounts of popcorn packing material and put the most valuable items in the middle of the box (preferably in their own box, so they can’t be quickly identified…though what use a Kyrgyz man has for a funny and ‘inside-joke’ sort of shirt I have no idea)…also it’s best to declare a shit-ton less value than the contents may actually be worth. Adam did a stellar job of this, but evidently there’s a hot black-market for funny shirts in Kyrgyzstan that I’ve yet to encounter…until now, unfortunately.
4) Pack items in a bigger box than necessary. I think they ship by weight and not so much by size, and the bigger the box the less easy it’ll be to quickly open and close without a supervisor seeing.
5) DO NOT WRITE “USA” ANYWHERE ON THE RETURN ADDRESS!!! I know this might sound dangerous, but if it needs to be “returned to sender” for any reason it will eventually get back to you. Having USA on the return address is the easiest way for any scummy-bastard-T-shirt-stealing-goat-fucker to see that the box’s contents might be worth pilfering. Just write your return address like you would if you were sending it within the US and it’ll be just fine.

This is of course assuming that anyone wants to send me anything…however, although Adam’s box had only current editions of Time and Popular Science magazines, some pictures and a nice letter (a T-shirt too, but that’s a bit of a sore subject so please don’t bring it up again) I really, really, really appreciated it. Not to guilt trip anyone, but if you see a trinket, a funny game, an interesting magazine…fuck…anything that’s American and you think that I’d like then I can’t stress enough how welcome that sort of gift would be. Plus, my birthday is October 12. I’ll be at my permanent site by then and will post the address as soon as I receive it, but for the next 30 days the address I posted in my previous blog will work great. Also, FYI, Adam sent the package on 7/21/08 and I received it on 8/04/08…not a bad turn-aroundJ

Thank you to all, and I promise many more stories to come…

What is Kyrgyzstan like?

What is Kyrgyzstan like? It’s certainly a country of great wealth disparity, that’s the most striking observation one can make upon exiting the capital city of Bishkek. It’s beautiful. Beyond words beautiful sometimes. There are days that I’m walking to my language lessons and pass an entire herd of goats and cows against a backdrop of the largest towering mountains I’ve ever seen. That’s another thing, the goat/cow herding. Kyrgyzstan is extremely community orientated so people take turns herding everyone else’s goats/cows…the crazy part is they don’t even herd them directly back to the house they came from—they’ll just walk them down the main street, stopping traffic the entire time and the cows and goats will veer off to their own house without any prodding. Which is strange considering the way they treat their animals here. It’s strange how they treat their animals only because I come from a country that actually has “animal rights activists” and people that treat their animals better than their own children on occasion. Here, they treat their animals as humans have since the dawn of civilized man—as tools to keep the house running, safe, and effective. It’s quite interesting, but tough to get used to. Their treatment of dogs especially. I grew up with a wonderful dog (some of you might have met Panda…she was greatJ) and my parents currently have Cookie, who’s about as tough as her name implies. My host-family has two dogs as well but they’re mean, not allowed in the house under ANY circumstances and barely fed scraps off the table. Actually I don’t know that for certain because I’ve never actually seen them be fed. However, because they’re starving and mean they are the best deterrent to any would-be robber and/or stray animal that might want to gain access to the house. From a sensible security standpoint they are excellent guard-dogs. It’s just tough for me because I grew up with a sense that the dog is a member of the family, whereas here they are basically slaves of a different species. Terrible reference, I know…but entirely accurate.

The towns are beautiful in their simplicity. Station Ivanovka, where I currently reside has no running water, intermittent electricity and the only toilets available are outhouses. Oh yeah, as my buddy Joe found out yesterday, once the outhouse gets full (use your imagination), you just cover it up and build a new one right next to it. And so it goes, the circle of life completely explained with a single reference to outhouses. I’m a genius.

Kyrgyzstan is an emerging country economically and with specific detail to modernity. It’s a country that has more broken and abandoned factories than running ones, but everyone that wants a job has one. The cities are modern, they have running water and electricity and rude people on the streets. The towns, however, operate in much the same way America did in the 1800’s…everyone looks out for everyone else, children are raised by their parents and the community and you shit outside regardless of the weather…yeah, I’m still on that subject;)

The community aspect of Kyrgyzstan is the most striking and evident in my daily activities though. If I’m on a Marshuka (tiny public transport VW van/bus thing) and an old lady gets on, every single young man will stand and offer their seat to her. If a 12 year old punk kid is too busy listening to his iPod everyone is within their right to slap his face and make him move. Seriously. In America parenting seems to be a pride issue. A proud mentality that holds that ‘this is my kid, I’ll raise them how I want’, whereas in Kyrgyzstan people look at the younger generation as future Kyrgyz community members so everyone has a say in how to raise them. I can’t quite make an argument for the merits of either method…it’s just different here.

In Bishkek you can find popular restaurants, hot night clubs, great bars, huge malls and nice paved roads (the difference between nice and not-nice paved roads is another HUGE striking difference here…in America one or two pot-holes is ‘not-nice’, in Kyrgyzstan one giant pot-hole that requires evasive maneuvering every 2 feet is ‘not nice’…’nice’ is slightly better than that) and girls that are wearing the latest short skirt, tiny tank-top fashion that MTV says is cool. In the towns women dress much more conservatively and are judged more harshly by their neighbors and peer groups than the latest chick-flick-high-school-gossip movie would have you believe is the norm in America. Bishkek is beautiful, and it comes with all the big city pluses and minuses that big cities the world over come with. Yes, Drew…they have McDonald’s in Bishkek—but the fries taste completely different!

Kyrgyzstan is a predominately Muslim country, but the men drink, smoke, and sleep with prostitutes…except the one’s that don’t, yet they seem to be few and far between. The women have traditional roles in the home. Some have jobs, but they are still responsible for all the cooking and cleaning. The men work, eat and do the hard labor that every house in every village requires as standard upkeep. The family’s live together for a very long time too…If a family has four sons, when the eldest marries he and his wife will live at his parent’s home until the second eldest marries, then they’ll move out. This will continue until the youngest son marries and he will live with his parents and his new wife until the parents die; he will then inherit their home and the tradition will continue anew.

Overall, Kyrgyzstan is a beautiful country, with beautiful people and a beautiful way of life. The cities are fast-paced and fun, and the towns are so slow it’s hard to move sometimes…days like that though I just get together with my friends here (there’s 10 PCT’s in Station Ivanovka), buy a 1.5 liter bottle of piva (beer) for 40 som (about $1.05) and sit in the park drinking and talking while children run around. It’s amazing. The kids are also ridiculously good at soccer here. We play pick-up games about twice a week (well, me and three other guys here) and the kids are just phenomenal! That’s a whole other story though, and I’m getting tired.

Hopefully this blog post gave you a simple idea of what Kyrgyzstan is like. I’ll be trying to post some pictures soon (maybe next month, when I save up the som to spend the time on the internet they’d require), but in the meantime please keep posting comments with any questions or thoughts you might have. As this is really my only means of communication with my friends back home I ALWAYS love hearing from you!!!